Saturday, November 22, 2008

Talking to strangers

I went to a workshop last Friday. It is for woman international research students (Using your learning expertise to manage the challenges of cultural transition and undertaking postgraduate research in Australia). I just want to accompany my sister as she seems so excited about it but I ended up revealing what I felt to strangers. There were only 5 people in that room including me and my sis. One fasilitator. It turned out to be like a counseling session for us. I did not talked much at first. Just listened to what others would like to say. One of the participant from 'B' conquered most of the conversations. I am so pity with her for dealing with such a horrible supervisor. She is depressed with her studies and her life as everything that she kept bottled inside for a long time burst out to us. Total strangers. We just met for the first time and yet feel so comfortable sharing our experiences and feelings. Maybe because we don't feel judged by other people. The quick trust that we built among us somehow amazed me. Usually people will take some time to get comfortable with each other especially talking about personal things. I tried really hard not to cry as I am telling my story but I just can't hold it anymore. I know I've been depressed for quite sometimes but I just denied it or put it aside. I have come to a stage where I feel like quiting with my PhD. Thank God that He gave me the strength to keep holding on until this day. But I just don't know how will it be in the next few days or months. I just pray that He will keep blessing me each day and give me all the strength that I need to keep on moving with this life because I don't want to be a quiter.